Please welcome our second guest and first participant in the Sex Quiz! This Hopeful Abstainer’s story patiently refined my original questions over the course of the entire month, and she has a seriously contagious enthusiasm for laughing, biking and adventure. If you have no idea what I’m doing. Check out the introduction to this series here, and consider adding your story.
Q: Tell us about your first (or an early) sexual encounter. Define sexual encounter however you will. What (if any) meaning did you make of it then? What meaning do you make of it in retrospect.
A: “My college roommates were waiting by the door after every one of the 5 dates it took before my college boyfriend kissed me. I would come in and throw myself on the couch in semi-faux desperation.” 5 dates is a respectable waiting period, but for this Hopeful Abstainer, the dates represented 21 years of waiting for that first kiss. When it finally happened, it was a 2 hour affair, and the relief of discovering she could hold her own on the dance floor felt more important than the kissing act itself. That first kiss turned into a boyfriend of 2 years, and she only got up the courage to tell him he was her first kiss a month later. After all of the embarrassment and anxiety over when it would finally happen for her, she was pleased to hear he wouldn’t have supposed her naivety. As with many late bloomers, friends and family told her that college would be her time. Our well-meaning confidants know our discouragement over the dates never enjoyed by the high school version of ourselves, and they regale us with tales of the mature university man who will truly see us. While she believes that her college first kiss was a matter of circumstance not a holy high school decision, she entered that first physical relationship with the training of her True Love Waits curriculum. He was also a Christian so they stuck to strict rules–no sleep overs, no bed time. As far as meaning is concerned, she was honestly just relieved to discover that her mouth seemed to know what to do.
Tomorrow, you’ll hear more about that accompanying sex ed that formed her first encounter.
Two Hopeful Abstainers