Q: Have you decided to wait until marriage to have sex? How did you come to that decision?
A: “I’m too old for this shit.” This was the advice that pushed her into preparations for her first time to sleep with her now husband. At the time, they had been dating over a year, and as a woman in her mid-30s, she was struggling to understand why she was still adhering to the abstinence education of her teen years. While she still felt the Bible had something to say about sex, she worried that she was wasting her prime years and stubbornly clinging to old ideals that no longer felt like her own. And so it was with a simple cliché, “I’m too old for this shit,” she set out to make her preparations. You may know from Hump Day, she had already embarrassingly told her boyfriend that they would not be having sex. However, she planned ahead, began taking birth control and waited until she felt ready. When I asked her for more details about how and why she made her decision, she giggled as she told me about wearing her favorite dress, the sushi restaurant she chose for dinner, and the extraordinary way that everything and nothing changed at the same time. In listening to her story, it was striking that this was a responsible decision made over the course of at least 15 years. And even still, when probed about condoms and birth control, she emphatically shared, “I could not get pregnant before the wedding. I would have died of shame.”